From Sixth Form to self-sufficiency: Bridging the gap between school and university

Sending my eldest son off to university last year, coupled with attending the GDST Head of Sixth Form Conference, themed ‘Transition to Tomorrow’ really made me rethink how we prepare students for the leap from Sixth Form to Higher Education. It’s not just about academic readiness but also about preparing them emotionally and practically for what lies ahead. 

At this stage in Year 13, many students begin to feel restless, itching to break free from the familiar routine of school. With their post-18 plans taking shape, they eagerly picture life beyond Sixth Form with excitement, often assuming that the hardest part is behind them. Many believe that studying will be manageable, friendships will form effortlessly, and independence will bring immediate freedom and enjoyment. While this optimism is natural, it’s important to balance these expectations with a realistic understanding of the challenges they may face so that they can navigate university life with resilience and confidence. As parents and educators, we have a key role to play in this transition – not just offering practical support but also helping students develop a mindset that will serve them well when things don’t go exactly as planned (because sometimes they don’t, and that’s okay). 

The expectations vs. reality gap – common misconceptions about university 

• ‘University is all about freedom and fun!’ 

Yes, university offers more independence, but that independence comes with responsibility. Unlike school where timetables and teachers keep students on track, university demands self-discipline. Managing their own schedules, balancing studies with social lives and personal commitments (like part-time work, or in my son’s case, sleeping in) can be overwhelming. Without structure, it’s easy to fall behind, making time management a survival skill rather than an optional extra. 

• ‘Lecturers will guide you like school teachers’ 

Not quite. University lecturers won’t chase after students for missing deadlines or incomplete work. Many of them are active researchers, juggling their teaching responsibilities with projects, publications, and other academic commitments. While support is available, students must take the initiative - seeking help when needed, joining study groups and making use of office hours. 

Feedback is another adjustment. Assignments usually come with longer deadlines and multiple stages and while school feedback is often regular and personalised, university feedback tends to be more student-led and less frequent. It’s up to students to engage with it proactively. This can be a challenge at first but mastering this skill will pay off in the long run – and maybe even save a few last-minute panicked, caffeine-fuelled all-nighters before deadlines. 

• ‘Making friends is easy and instant’ 

For many students, the social transition to university is not as smooth as they expect. Unlike school, where friendships often develop naturally over the years, university brings together new people and relationships and it can take time to build meaningful connections. It is normal to feel lost at first but it is important to remember that social adjustment doesn’t happen overnight. The key? Joining societies which provide instant opportunities to meet like-minded people, build different social circles and avoid relying solely on flat mates for company. My son joined Judo society and Skiing society. One teaches him to fall gracefully, the other ensures he falls spectacularly – both, in a way, perfect for preparation for university life. But through them, he’s built great friendships beyond the course and flat. 

• ‘I know exactly how to live independently’ 

Many students think they have got independence all figured out – until they realise that money doesn’t stretch as far as they thought, laundry doesn’t wash itself and dinner requires more effort than opening a takeaway app. Budgeting suddenly becomes a high-stakes game and discovering that a week’s worth of instant noodles isn’t a balanced diet can be a rude awakening. 

Cooking simple, healthy meals saves both money and well-being – though most students only realise this after a few regrettable food choices. Keeping on top of household tasks like cleaning and laundry also helps maintain some sense of order. And beyond the practical, learning to manage stress in healthy ways helps navigate social and academic pressures. 

• Our role as parents and educators 

As our children head off to university, our role isn’t to micromanage their experience but to equip them with the life skills and resilience they will need. That means encouraging them, before they leave, to manage their own appointments, cook their own meals, and yes, handle their own laundry, while also letting them find their own solutions to problems and learn from their mistakes. 

One of the best ways we can help them adjust their expectations is simply by having honest conversations about the realities of university life. Discussing everything from budgeting to dealing with loneliness can help them feel more prepared and less blindsided when challenges arise. Sharing our own experiences (or those of older siblings, cousins or friends) can also reassure them that struggling at first is completely normal and that nobody truly has it all figured out. 

Most importantly, we need to trust that the values, skills and confidence we have instilled in them will see them through this new chapter – chaotic learning process and all. When my son left for university, his understanding of freedom and independence could best be described as “enthusiastically reckless.” He immediately caught fresher’s flu (which seemed to last an entire term), survived on a diet that would make a nutritionist weep, barely exercised, and treated sleep like an optional hobby. Unsurprisingly, he also ran out of money long before the end of term. 

But here is the thing: progress happens in unexpected ways. 

A couple of days ago, as I was writing this blog, I received a text from him that made me unreasonably proud. It read: 

“I bought a whole large chicken for £4. I taught myself how to carve it up and froze most of it. This will feed me for a week, and I’m making stock with the carcass. Should be done when I get back from the gym." I’ll admit, the thought of him mastering the art of chicken carving (and stock-making!) did make me feel like he is on his way to full adulthood. And while I have no idea about the state of his laundry, I’ll call this one a win. 

Written by Ms Cheyns, Assistant Head (Head of Sixth Form)